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Trick or Trick

Y’know how no matter how many Friday afternoons you experience in a lifetime, no matter how long ago you shoulda become inured to the joy of a weekend, it still thrills you? Halloween is like that for me, only several hundred miles in the other direction.

  • INT. HIGH SCHOOL MATH CLASSROOM - DAY
  • DAN MEYER, 25, tall, arms built like telephone poles, greets the last in a stream of costumed pimps, witches, whores, and stabbing victims.
  • He stands in front of the class and smiles warmly.
  • MR. MEYER
  • Hey guys. Good to see you. Happy Halloween. I thought today we'd watch a Halloween video for the first half of class and then for the second I've hidden candy around the class for you to find.
  • The class REJOICES.
  • THE KILLER FROM SAW
  • Sick!
  • A CHIPPENDALE DANCER
  • Really?!
  • MR. MEYER
  • Ha ha ... uh ... no. I do have a test for you, though.
  • The class DESPAIRS.

Is Halloween international? Is there a country where I don’t hafta put up with this?

14 Responses to “Trick or Trick”

  1. on 31 Oct 2007 at 12:11 pmJeff Wasserman

    Christmastown?

  2. on 31 Oct 2007 at 3:34 pmLiza Lee Miller

    I was feeling like a Halloween Scrooge today too. 5th grade — Halloween — ugh. But, I gotta say, you had it worse. I had no Chippendale Dancers, thank you very much!

  3. on 31 Oct 2007 at 4:34 pmDamian Bariexca

    Well, Who-ville is thataway, Mr. Grinchypants.

  4. on 31 Oct 2007 at 4:51 pmSteve

    Since when did Halloween become national “Tramp it up day”?

    Happy Hallothankmas to all – and to all good night, see you next year.

  5. on 31 Oct 2007 at 5:04 pmken

    I’m sorry, did I hear the word ‘whores’?

  6. on 31 Oct 2007 at 5:21 pmDamian Bariexca

    @Ken Well, they ARE middle schoolers. It’s not like they’re little kids anymore.

  7. on 31 Oct 2007 at 5:35 pmSarah

    My housemate reports that when she was in Germany the teachers hated Halloween, complained it was too American. Maybe we just have it the worst?

    Or you could move to an area where the local religion doesn’t celebrate the holiday. When I was in high school, my family couldn’t put out a pumpkin because it would upset people too much.

  8. on 31 Oct 2007 at 5:59 pmdan

    Didn’t realize there were so many Halloween fans in the crowd.

    Well, for whatever it’s worth, my appeal ain’t on moral grounds. I’m not particularly horrified by what they will or won’t wear, it just bugs me I can’t get anything done. That’s all.

    And even that annoyance isn’t so large as long I cram it into the brimming jar on my shelf labeled What I Should Expect From My Job.

  9. on 31 Oct 2007 at 7:36 pmA. Mercer

    Ya know, my son’s district does a staff development day (no school for kids, no kids for teachers to teach) in October-ish. I really admired them the year they had it the day after Halloween.

    Through my mind flitted the thought, “Lucky stiffs, I wish I have thought of that!”

  10. on 31 Oct 2007 at 7:39 pmA. Mercer

    BTW, I LOATHE all candy holidays. I won’t say the last two periods of my day were hellish, but the weren’t my most enjoyable, let’s put it that way. One teacher had the nerve to say, “Oh by the way, we passed out candy before this,” Yeah, thanks a million! I then had the stupidity to show fourth graders a video on economics. It’s a good thing I really like that guy.

  11. on 31 Oct 2007 at 9:09 pmBen Bleckley

    I’m a Peace Corps Volunteer teaching in South Africa, and they don’t have Halloween here. Wages are even lower than in the United States, but if you can handle that, welcome home.

  12. on 31 Oct 2007 at 9:18 pmPer

    Come to Sweden. Halloween exist nowdays (didnt 20 years ago) but not in a way that effects school.

    You might be supprised to lose Dec 13 to Lucia thought…

    /Per

  13. on 01 Nov 2007 at 7:52 amAngie

    Why not take lemons and make lemonades? Make graphs based on most popular candy or types of Halloween costumes. Or something like that. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em and make ‘em learn something.

  14. on 01 Nov 2007 at 5:50 pmJennifer

    I taught at a Jewish school one year—no Halloween, but then Purim’s a bitch. At my TFA school in Houston, we got slammed 2 days in a row: Halloween AND Day of the Dead. So, take heart in the fact that it’s only one day a year.